Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC

Holistic Psychotherapy

Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC Holistic Psychotherapy Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC Holistic Psychotherapy Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC Holistic Psychotherapy



Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC

Holistic Psychotherapy

Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC Holistic Psychotherapy Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC Holistic Psychotherapy Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC Holistic Psychotherapy
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Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC Therapy

The Cost of Holding It All Together: A Therapist's Perspective on Quiet Burnout

You’re the one people count on.
The calm in chaos.
The high achiever, the caretaker, the go-to problem-solver.

From the outside, it looks like you’re doing great.
But inside?

  • You feel exhausted—mentally and emotionally.
  • Sleep doesn’t really restore you.
  • Your mind races when you finally stop moving.
  • Your body feels wired… or completely shut down.

This is what quiet burnout can look like.
And for many high-functioning adults, especially those with trauma histories, it’s incredibly common.

High Achievement Can Be a Trauma Response

You might have learned early on that your value came from being helpful, successful, or “easy.” That emotional needs weren’t safe. That stability depended on staying calm, competent, and in control.

And while those coping strategies may have helped you survive, they often come at a cost:

  • Anxiety masked as ambition
  • Emotional disconnection masked as resilience
  • Perfectionism masked as self-discipline

Eventually, your body starts to tell the truth—even if your mind is still powering through.

How Therapy Can Help

As a trauma-informed therapist, I specialize in working with high-functioning individuals who are outwardly thriving but privately overwhelmed, anxious, or numb. My approach blends talk therapy, somatic work, and nervous system healing so that change happens not just cognitively—but physically and emotionally.

Together, we work to:

  • Rebuild a sense of internal safety
  • Gently release old emotional patterns stored in the body
  • Learn how to feel supported without guilt or shame
  • Reconnect to your authentic self—not just your roles

Private Sessions & Trauma Healing Intensives

I offer both weekly therapy and private, half-day intensives for individuals who prefer deeper, focused work outside the traditional weekly model.

If you’ve been holding it all together for a long time and feel ready for something different—more sustainable, more honest, more whole—I invite you to reach out.

You don’t have to wait for a breakdown to begin healing.
You just have to stop pretending it’s all fine.


Learn more

Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC Therapy

The Art of Boundary Setting: Protecting Your Peace and Well-Being

In a world that often glorifies overcommitment and self-sacrifice, setting boundaries can feel like an act of rebellion. Yet, boundaries are essential for maintaining emotional health, fostering meaningful relationships, and protecting your energy. Let’s explore why boundaries matter and how to set them effectively.

What Are Boundaries, and Why Do They Matter?

Boundaries are the limits we establish to protect our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. They define what is acceptable behavior from others and what is not. Boundaries aren’t about building walls but rather creating guidelines that nurture mutual respect and understanding.

When we fail to set boundaries, we may feel overwhelmed, resentful, or even burned out. By contrast, clear boundaries help us:

  • Preserve our energy for what truly matters.
  • Build trust and respect in relationships.
  • Maintain a sense of autonomy and self-worth.

Signs You Need Stronger Boundaries

Do you often say “yes” when you want to say “no”? Do you feel drained after interacting with certain people? Here are some signs that you might need to strengthen your boundaries:

  • Chronic feelings of guilt or obligation.
  • Difficulty advocating for your needs or desires.
  • Resentment towards others for overstepping your limits.
  • A pattern of overcommitting and neglecting self-care.

If these resonate, it’s time to prioritize boundary setting.

Steps to Setting Healthy Boundaries

  1. Reflect on Your Needs Start by identifying your limits. Consider areas where you feel overextended or disrespected. Journaling or talking with a trusted friend can help clarify your feelings.
  2. Communicate Clearly and Assertively Use “I” statements to express your boundaries. For example: “I need time to recharge after work, so I won’t be able to attend weekday social events.” Clear communication minimizes misunderstandings.
  3. Stay Consistent Enforcing boundaries requires consistency. If you waver, others may not take your limits seriously. Gently but firmly restate your boundary if necessary.
  4. Prepare for Pushback Some people may resist or challenge your boundaries, especially if they’re accustomed to you being overly accommodating. Stand firm and remember that protecting your peace is worth temporary discomfort.
  5. Practice Self-Compassion Setting boundaries can feel awkward or even selfish at first. Remind yourself that boundaries are an act of self-love and a prerequisite for healthy relationships.

Common Myths About Boundaries

  • Myth: Setting boundaries is selfish.
    Truth: Boundaries allow you to show up fully and authentically for yourself and others.
  • Myth: People will be angry if I set boundaries. If they do get angry, that's a sign they do not have your best interest in mind,
    Truth: While some may initially resist, those who respect and care about you will ultimately appreciate your honesty.
  • Myth: Boundaries harm relationships.
    Truth: Healthy boundaries strengthen relationships by fostering mutual respect and clear communication.

Boundaries in Different Areas of Life

  • Work: Limit overtime or set expectations about your availability.
  • Family: Define what topics or behaviors are off-limits during interactions.
  • Friendships: Balance giving and receiving support.
  • Romantic Relationships: Communicate your needs openly and respectfully.
  • Self-Care: Schedule time for activities that nourish you. Self care is not just bubble baths. It's build your self worht and self respect. 

Final Thoughts

Boundary setting is a skill that takes time and practice, but the rewards are invaluable. By honoring your limits, you cultivate a life that aligns with your values and fosters genuine connections. Remember, saying “no” to what drains you is saying “yes” to what sustains you.

Take the first step today—identify one area where you need a boundary and commit to honoring it. Your peace is worth it.

Boundaries and Perfectionism: Breaking Free from the Need to

Perfectionism can feel like a relentless pursuit of excellence, but underneath it often lies a deep fear of failure, rejection, or not being "good enough." One of the biggest challenges perfectionists face is setting and maintaining boundaries—especially when it comes to saying no, protecting their time, and prioritizing their well-being.

Why Perfectionists Struggle with Boundaries

Perfectionists often tie their self-worth to how much they accomplish or how well they meet others’ expectations. This can lead to:

  • Overcommitting – Saying yes to everything to avoid disappointing others.
  • People-pleasing – Feeling responsible for others’ emotions and trying to "fix" problems that aren't theirs to fix.
  • Self-neglect – Prioritizing work, obligations, and others’ needs over personal well-being.
  • Fear of conflict – Avoiding boundary-setting to keep the peace, even at the cost of their own happiness.

When these patterns persist, perfectionists can end up feeling resentful, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

The Link Between Boundaries and Self-Worth

Boundaries are an essential act of self-care. They communicate, “I respect myself enough to protect my time, energy, and emotional well-being.” However, for perfectionists, setting boundaries can feel like they’re letting someone down—or worse, failing.

But boundaries aren’t about rejection; they’re about self-respect. When we set clear limits, we create healthier relationships, reduce stress, and break free from the perfectionist trap of needing to prove our worth through overwork or over-giving.

How to Set Boundaries as a Perfectionist

  1. Start Small – Practice saying no to low-stakes requests and work your way up. Example: Declining a last-minute favor when your schedule is already full.
  2. Notice Your Discomfort – If setting a boundary makes you anxious, ask yourself: “Am I afraid of disappointing someone? Why?” Identifying the root fear helps you move through it.
  3. Use Clear and Kind Communication – Boundaries don’t have to be harsh. Try:
    • “I’d love to help, but I don’t have the capacity right now.”
    • “That doesn’t work for me, but I appreciate you asking.”

  1. Prioritize Your Needs – If something drains you, ask yourself: “Am I doing this out of obligation, or does it genuinely align with my values?”
  2. Let Go of Guilt – Remind yourself that saying no doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a healthier one.

Embracing Imperfection and Boundaries

Perfectionists often believe they must do everything flawlessly to be loved or accepted. But real connection comes from authenticity, not overperformance. When you set boundaries, you’re not just protecting your time—you’re reinforcing that you are already enough just as you are.

Letting go of perfectionism means embracing the idea that your worth isn’t tied to how much you do for others. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply say, “No, I need to take care of myself.”

Copyright © 2024 Mary Elizabeth Burns, MS, NCC, LPC - All Rights Reserved.

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